Confessions of a Newlywed: Surviving Wedded Bliss: 2010

12.20.2010

Just when you think you know someone

Nick and I have never lived together, but we spent so much time together I thought for sure I knew just about everything. Prior to moving into our first home together I knew things would be interesting and eye opening.

Now some things I could make easy assumptions about. For instance: I knew he would be a little messy considering I'd seen what his bedroom at his parents' house looked like. Considering Nick's affinity for all things junk food related, I knew he would throw a hissy fit about me refusing to buy a ton of junk. God forbid there's a few too many carrots and hummus in the house!

But one assumption I had no way of assuming ahead of time. (Note: one reason I fell in love with Nick is his sense of humor and cookiness, but this takes the cake.)

Although Nick has a great singing voice he goes around the house singing in the goofiest voices whether it's in the shower (where he also feels the need to do voices/quote movies to himself) or unloading the dishwasher he's always singing. When he doesn't think I'm listening he sings to our dog and inserts our dog's name into songs. Last night's vocal stylings included, "Zeusy Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

This isn't a gripe whatsoever! It's not even something that one has to deal with. It's just down right hilarious! Of all the things I prepped myself for I never thought it would be this. He never ceases to amaze me.

12.19.2010

Trial and error

Nick's godson just turned two months old earlier this month. Me, the self-proclaimed "baby hog" in the family has been dying to babysit since the day we went to the hospital to meet him. How can you not adore all twelve roly poly pounds of him? He's a sweetheart with tons of teddy bear brown hair and big blue eyes. And at times I see the family resemblance to Nick.

His godson at times, makes me want to throw our plan out the window and have one of our own. To squelch those hormonal feelings I hover around the baby at family parties, hoping to hold him as much as possible. And when he gets fussy, I can pass him back to his mom, grateful for my temporary baby fix.

But when Nick's cousin text messaged to see if we wanted to babysit the baby overnight I jumped at the opportunity. I could see the terror in Nick's eyes.

While I was excited, Nick was nervous. We loaded a swing, bassinet, a diaper bag and an overnight bag into the car. We both couldn't believe we had a baby strapped in a car seat in our backseat.

Nick went 10 mph down the street and only picked up speed on the highway. We got home close to midnight and by midnight the baby was out cold. When Nick and I called it a night we had no idea what to expect. Although we were well informed with four, double-sided pages of instructions from the baby's mom I was a little uneasy.

Nick placed the bassinet as close to the edge of the bed as possible and turned on a nightlight. Just as I was about to fall asleep he rolled over to my side and said, "Are you sure you'll be able to hear him?" We got up the next morning relieved he only woke up once! We considered buying lottery tickets.

The rest of the day went scary smooth and I hoped this wasn't the universe's way giving us a sign.

Then later that day we received an early Christmas gift from his godson. A very dirty diaper. Nick has never had the pleasure of changing a diaper. When he realized the little present we were about to receive came in a very small, but powerful package he instantaneously backed against the wall, covered his face, gagging. Sometimes, I realize I have to take opportunities when they present themselves. I walked casually passed Nick, making him think he was out of the woods of doing diaper duty. Instead I did an about face and chased him with baby.

It could be considered torture, but it was absolutely priceless. Nick was begging me to stop. He promised to change every one of our children's diapers if I just spared him this one. I may have to hold him to that someday.

The things I do to get my kicks. My poor husband.

Let me let you in on a little secret...

Most people who know me understand I'm a feminist. I don't believe in gender roles. I feel men and women are equal and should be treated equally.

But something bizarre happened after our big day. I felt like my mind was transported to the 1950s. I suddenly wanted to make sure his work clothes were clean, folded and put away. I had the desire to make sandwiches with all the gourmet toppings. I pictured myself in a cutesy little apron (and not much else - hey we're newlyweds!) creating Food Network worthy dishes for dinner, waiting for him to come home from work.

And the first few days of us being home from our honeymoon played out very similar to that. And the best part of it, Nick played into the dutiful husband as well. Even when he worked in the afternoon, he would wake up in the morning to have coffee and/or breakfast with me before I left for work. It was picturesque to say the least.

Then a lightbulb went off. While in my marriage daydreams this sounded wonderful, but I wondered how long we could both keep this up in reality.

Don't get me wrong oftentimes it is about the little things and keeping things like this up that help build a relationship, but if there is one thing I know it's myself. I knew that if for years Nick woke up with me every morning I had to work and then suddenly didn't I would be heartbroken. It would lead to arguments and tears (from me of course) and a sense of resentment that I didn't want.

So the very week we came home from our honeymoon I told Nick, "Love, if you don't plan on doing this until the day we die please don't."

Now that wasn't his get out of jail free card or mine for that matter. It was the realization that I wanted to continue to both be self-sufficient and get little surprises from time to time instead of creating expectations.

The same holds true for other chores! I'm not a housekeeper, I'm a wife. He is fully capable of putting his laundry in the hamper, so if I have to suffer for a few days and step over his dirty socks so be it. I will not make that an expectation.

Now some may look at this and say, "Wow! What a..." well you know. But that's not it. It's not. We split chores and do our fair share around the house because we both work full time and this is our house. I'm not afraid to take out the garbage or cut the grass. Nick will do laundry and the dishes.

I hope this is our key to success. Hopefully I can let you know on our 50th wedding anniversary.

11.30.2010

The Baby Phenomena

I knew it was coming - read about it, talked about, dreamt about it...I guess I just didn't think it was going to happen so soon.

Take a deep breath, Nick and I are not expecting! No I'm not talking about the miracle of life, but another phenomena...something I'll call the baby phenomena.

It all started at the reception. My wedding band had been on for approximately four hours when my boss' wife informed me that rain on my wedding day not only meant good luck, but babies very, very soon.

My ovaries recoiled in fear. I envisioned a boycott between my fallopian tubes and uterus. Okay maybe that's a bit overboard, but I'm sure we set a record there. Four hours married and let the baby talk begin.

We got married in the very late summer, early fall thinking we'd beat the summer heat yet avoid the holiday season. Well the holiday season is upon us, which means lots of family get-togethers and plenty of opportunities to ask the newlyweds updates on their procreation status.

It usually starts because I'm the baby/kid hog in the family. Where there is a baby/kid you'll find me. I can't help it I absolutely adore kids! But because I love kids (and even though I know Nick will be a great daddy someday) I know we're not ready.

The mistake I made was trying to explain this to people. I try to answer the inquiries in the nicest ways possible. I see the look of doubt on people's faces saying, "Sure you say that now".

My favorite, Nick's uncle has a bet going! You wonder when you walk out of the room if they say, "I'll give them less than a year (to get pregnant that is)."

I know these are all wishful, kind thoughts being passed our way. I even find myself making the statement, "When we have kids" more than I ever recall when we were dating or just engaged. This baby phenomena between the family/friends is just humorous.

I guess that's why the little rhyme goes, "First comes love then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage". Some people are ready to see us move to the next step!

I look forward to the day when Nick and I can make the big announcement and make our younger sisters aunts and our parents grandparents and hopefully our grandparents great-grandparents. The love and joy a child brings to a family is unprecedented.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying keeping the family guessing and teasing relentlessly. As for those preparing for wedded bliss take a moment and prepare yourself for this question in advance because if you're anything like us you may need it a few hours after you say "I do".

11.04.2010

Arachnophobia

I always tell this story from when Nick and I first started dating. I'll be honest I can barely get through it without cracking up. I have to tell this story first in order for you to get a true depiction of how serious a topic this is...well serious for Nick that is.

My husband is not a small man. He's a hockey player who dwarfs my 5'1" mother. You would think with all that brawn nothing could stand in his way. Want to see him stop dead in his tracks? Find a spider.

So when we were 17, we were all cozied up on the couch watching a movie in his parents' basement. This was back when we enjoyed sitting right next to each other on a couch that could clearly seat four to five adults comfortably.

I was leaning on his shoulder engrossed in whatever it was we were watching (must have been great I remember it so well). All of sudden I'm airborne. I landed on the floor. Before I could realize what had happened I hear Nick yell, "SPIDER!" Sitting on the floor, dumbfounded I came to and said simply, "Where?"

Frantically pointing at the floor next to me (yes he catapulted me into the line of fire, my hero!) Nick said, "There, there!"

I look over and there is this measly, little house spider no bigger than a standard pencil eraser. I find something to squish it and the color returned to Nick's face. I knew from then on this could work to my advantage.

So flash forward six years later and I now have role of wife/spider killer. We were laying in bed the other night when Nick noticed a spider on the wall. He begged me to "get it." Of course I took advantage of torturing him and said, "No, that's okay. I've adopted it. It's going to live with us now. I can't kill it." The begging and pleading continued and continued and continued. Not wanting to torture my poor husband any longer, I caved and "got it."

Nick seemed so relieved. I had to get one last jab in. With the slimy, squished arachnid in a tissue, I lunged at him with it (as if I would throw the disgusting thing on our comforter). He screamed this high pitch shrill that sounded like an elementary school aged girl. I about fell on the floor I was laughing so hard as Nick sat cowered against our headboard.

I know it was terrible and mean. Sometimes you just have to take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself!

You've heard of the "Freshmen Fifteen" what about post-wedding pounds?

I'll be honest I avoid scales and I'm the first to admit I work out, but I don't eat right. I skip lunch and I love chocolate. I've always been in decent shape. Here lately I wonder how long that will last.

There's this euphoric feeling post-wedding. You're not counting the number of push-ups, tricep dips, crunches and squats you did. The dress fit perfectly, the photos look beautiful and this feeling of utter calm washes over you.

But with that calm comes a catch. It's easy to be come lax about those extra trips to the pantry. I'll attest I've noticed I'm much more hungry married then I ever was before. (And no it's not because I'm working off extra calories in the bedroom!)

There's just these nights when we're all relaxed and I'll say, "Love, I could really go for some <fill in the blank with some calorie packed, unnecessary, but tastes so darn good item>." My adoring husband and enabler will say, "Me, too."

Just the other night I had one of these cravings. I discovered some chocolate chip cookie dough in the freezer just asking to be thawed and devoured.

Nick asked, "Can you defrost cookie dough?"

My response, "We'll find out!"

Now to get my chocolate fix, I could have made just a few chocolate chip cookies for each of us. But, they looked so small on the cookie sheets I decided to make 20. Ten for him and ten for me...seemed fair. I poured two glasses of milk and set all 20 out on a plate thinking we'd have some left over for when the cookie monster craving hit me again. About 15 minutes went by and I looked down at the plate. There was ONE cookie left amongst some crumbs. ONE!

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. What happened to the bride to be who went to the gym five days a week? Does my marital status suddenly give me carte blanche to eat like every day is Thanksgiving? I can barely finish a chicken breast and a side, but I can eat ten cookies and finish off a glass of milk?

Of course as a stereotypical woman I go into panic mode...is Nick going to have to start hearing me say, "Honey does this dress make my butt look big?" Knowing, no the dress didn't do it was the over consumption of chocolate chip cookies that were to blame.

Then I remember to breathe. Enjoy the time spent together. Overindulge once in a great while. Live a little! I can take the dog for an extra lap around the subdivision and stay at the gym a half hour longer...tomorrow.

10.25.2010

It's been too long...

I thought for sure after the wedding life as we knew it would die down...wrong-O! Between Nick's promotion at work (but still looking for a career), working on getting the house all settled in, family parties, Nick's godson being born, etc. etc. etc. not to mention trying to make time for each other I've been hard pressed to blog.

But don't worry...I'm right back at it!

We celebrated our one month anniversary! Woo hoo! I can't believe it's been a month already. Part of me still doesn't feel married and then I see the his dirty socks on the bedroom floor and realize "Yep, honey he's all yours."

I've been dying to share our latest debacle. It was one of those mixed bag of emotions full of highs and lows. Here goes:

After the cheese stick incident (which subsequently gave me the nickname Cheese Stick Nazi by Nick's family), Nick continued to insist on snack food in the house. As if he didn't have an ulterior motive he would say things like, "Oh, by the way, PayLow has Jack's pizza on sale five for ten...that's a pretty good deal huh?". Day after day he would give me updates on local grocery stores' latest frozen snack food deals well, I finally caved.

Jewel had a great deal on frozen pizzas during my last grocery trip so I picked up a few to pacify my husband. But believe me this story is so much more than 1/2 inch thick cardboard with mozzarella!

The other night I had just come home from kickboxing. I was pretty tired, but feeling too lazy to shower. I sat down on the couch for a bit. Nick had that look on his face and when he went to share the blanket with me on the couch I knew where this was headed.

Rejection #1

Instead, I went to take that much needed shower wondering why on Earth he would want anything to do with me after I just worked up a sweat for an hour.

After relaxing for a bit, I called it a night. Well Nick was at it again, but simultaneously I wanted to talk (eh, lecture) him about not getting up early enough to switch the laundry or make the bed instead he played fetch with our golden retriever for an hour. Needless to say that killed the mood.

Rejection #2

Angry with me, he decided the best way to spite me was to go eat a frozen pizza at 11:15 pm (knowing full well that eating late is one of my biggest pet peeves). That'll show me! Frustrated and rejected, he took a steak knife out of the block to open up the packaging. Nick jerked the knife through the plastic and continued straight into the side of his index finger.

At this point I was drifting off to sleep when I heard fumbling in the master bath. I heard Nick say, "This could probably use stitches." I of course threw back the covers to go investigate.

Sure enough, Nick was holding his finger trying to stop the bleeding. Thankfully it ended up being a lot better than it originally looked only requiring some peroxide, neosporin and two bandages. He looked at me with these pitiful eyes and said, "This is all your fault you know." Nice try pal. We definitely got a good laugh out of it. And of course I have to rub it in that none of this would have happened if he would just leave frozen, preservative packed food where it belongs - at the grocery store.

10.13.2010

Still melting my heart.

Since falling into a married-life routine Nick and I have come to enjoy our down time together. The work day is over, we've just enjoyed a nice home cooked meal (or takeout from time to time) and we're ready to unwind.

The other night while cleaning up dinner dishes together (thank goodness he does dishes!) I asked an increasingly usual question, "So, what's the movie for tonight?"

Nick replied, "Well what are you in the mood for?" I simply said, "Eh, you decide."

Nick very, very seriously looks at me and said, "We should decide together." Personally, it didn't matter to me he knows the drill by now:
1. I prefer romantic comedies, but will settle for a good sometimes even raunchy comedy
2. I love tear jerkers between comedies, just for an even mix of emotions
3. I don't like corny, unrealistic action movies
4. I hate gore and most sci-fi
5. Violent, realistic war movies upset me

And we both have too active of imaginations to watch anything scary. So it's pretty simple to please me.

When I asked him why he said matter-of-factly, "Because we're a family."

It stopped me dead in my tracks. I must have looked ridiculous - fry pan in one hand, dish towel in the other, dumbfounded look on my face. I always thought a couple really couldn't be considered a "family". When you address your holiday cards to the newlyweds or empty nesters it's always Mr. and Mrs. Jones or Jane and John Smith. Not the Jones Family. Or at least that was my assumption.

I never thought we would be a "family" until a baby Nick or baby Nichole made their way into this world. It melted my heart and brought tears to my eyes. I didn't want to let on it touched me so much, but it did.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary online simply defines family as, ": a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head".

We are a family. Even just the two of us. We are 100-percent living for each other. His needs are my needs, mine his. We are putting the other first. Every decision we make has the other in mind.

And no, the midweek flick is not a life or death decision, but symbolic of all the decisions we have to make together in the future. It's a symbol for the sacrifices and comprises ahead that we'll now make as a family.

10.04.2010

The trouble with towels

It seems dish towels and hand towels have created a wedge between my husband and I. Yes you read correctly - dish towels and hand towels.

Let's start in the heart of the home, the kitchen. For as long as I can remember my mom folded her dish towels in thirds and hung them from the stove handle. Whether it's the best place or the safest place (being fabric in close proximity to heat) I don't know, but that's the way it was done in my house.

Nick's mom always kept her dish towels folded in half by the sink ledge. While it makes perfect, logical sense for a dish towel to be near dishes I just don't like it there. Maybe it's because I'm clumsy and always end up knocking the towel into the sink mid doing dishes?

So the other day Nick and I were in the kitchen. He was by the sink and I was to his right by the stove, about three feet of countertop between us. I reach for the dish towel and he stops me. "Where are you putting that?" I replied, "Right here, where I always do." So he smiles, coyly, walks over and snatches the dish towel from the stove handle. Hands on my hips I said, "You are not putting the dish towel where your mother puts the dish towel." Ever the witty man, he comes back at me with, "You are not putting the dish towel where your mother puts the dish towel."

After this back and forth playful banter went on for a couple minutes I finally said, "You want it there? Fine. Then you can do the dishes." (I really don't care where the towel goes, sometimes I truly like picking on him!)

I thought the dish towel debate had been ended. Husband -1 Wife - 0 (although I will argue I basically forfeited). Well a few days pass and I'm on the bar stool side of our peninsula when Nick reaches over for the dish towel sitting on the counter (the one he just used after drying the dishes! YAY!), folds it into thirds and hangs it on the stove handle. "Why are you hanging it there?" I asked. He smiles, "I know you like it better here."

I have to admit, I was impressed. I underestimated my husband's intelligence. He quickly realized that doing a load of laundry, running the dishwasher and vacuuming can earn him some serious points! And this little move definitely racked them up.

But wait, that's not all! Yes, just when I thought he was getting it my husband went and negated it all. Months ago, when we were registering we both agreed we loved the idea of having a neutral, very clean looking white bathroom (with our mutual favorite color green as the accent). The other night I'm laying in bed and I look over into the master bath. Nick's mumbling about needing new gym shoes as he's scrubbing them with somethin. Tired, I respond mindlessly and get situated for bed.

The next morning I go into the bathroom and realize I should have paid closer attention. Nick decided his shoes were so important he had to scrub them with my new, fluffy, wonderfully soft, perfectly snow white hand towel!

ERRRRRR! I growled, literally, outloud. I took it downstairs and whipped it into the washer. Three loads of whites later and I can still see the damage. Yes, I know I could have just gone back to the JcPenney Home Store and picked up another hand towel, but it's the principal of the matter!

Men ugh.

9.30.2010

Grocery shopping synonymous with hell!

As most newlyweds tend to do, my husband and I have started running our errands together. Save time, save gas and spend a little quality time together. It sounds all well and good in theory. What's cuter than your 6'3" hubby pushing the shopping cart through the local grocery store trying to decide which brand has the better deal on Swiss cheese? That cute vision can quickly become a nightmare!

First of all, I have to acknowledge the fact that I HATE grocery shopping. I know the germ covered cart I insist on wiping down with antibacterial wipes gets me going. Aside from that, I just can't put my finger on it. Maybe because it takes me three hours to pick up essentials? Ya know - bread, milk, cheese, toilet paper, etc. After I compare calories, cost, one-ply vs. two I feel mentally drained. But I can't bring myself to order groceries online through a convenience company.

Well now I thought wonderful, I have someone to drag along with me. Misery loves company! Another rookie mistake. It all started off with sparkling wine. My husband and I just visited Michigan's wine country. We purchased nine bottles of our favorite Chardonnays, Cabernets, Demi-Secs and Merlots. We came home with six. We are in no need of any more bottles to add to our collection, or at least that's what I thought.

Nick decided we really need a sparkling wine. We don't have any and apparently everyone needs a bottle of sparkling wine. I said I really don't think we need any, we have enough at home. Not the answer he was looking for so he sulked into the next aisle.

He made it through the remainder of the trip with minimal pouting, until we stumbled upon an aisle filled with some of our worst, most notorious vices - frozen pizzas and appetizers. I know, terrible for you. Chalked full of preservatives and empty calories. But sometimes you just gotta have some! Well in an effort to fill our freezer and pantry with more wholesome foods I made note that we didn't need the personal pizzas with 670 calories a serving and no we didn't need the box of mozzarella sticks for nearly $4 a box for 6 measly, greasy cheese sticks.

Nick was not a happy camper. I got caught up in calorie counting and price comparing, as I tend to do in grocery stores, I realized Nick was being awfully quiet for someone who had to have cheese sticks.

I looked over...Nick had deserted me, took off with the cart and all! I searched high and low, down each aisle, going back to the frozen section thinking I'd catch him stocking our cart with the mini-pizzas and cheese sticks! But no such luck.

So I gave up and headed to the door thinking he could just meet me at the car when I see him checking out at the register like everything was just peachy keen. I walked over in a huff, holding my breath and gave him the meanest glare that totally said, "How dare you walk away with our grocery cart, not filled with all the things you want and make me search for you!" I refused to talk all the way to the car, when he looks over at me with this pitiful, childlike voice and says, "All I wanted were some cheese sticks".

Married couple fight over really stupid things #1 out of 1,000,000+ I'm sure. Lesson for the day: if you must run your errands as a team, make a list before you go to the store and do not under any circumstances deviate! Otherwise you could be battling over wine and cheese in Aisle 13!

9.28.2010

A word to the wise

As any intelligent woman knows one key to great looking skin is to properly remove your makeup.

Well after one very late wedding night of...knitting, I decide eh, it can wait until morning. I'll wake up, remove the remaining lipstick and fix my raccoon eyes before Sir Snores A LOT is even out of his REM sleep cycle.

Bad move Mrs. very bad move. I wake up at about 4:30 a.m. to a pulsating, burning eyelid. My eye is practically caked shut with Maybelline Falsies mascara. As I pry open my eye and try not to curse too loudly in an effort to leave my sleeping husband off in dream world, I finally see the result of my laziness.

Bloodshot...red...puffy...irritated...sensitive...OUCH!

As I should have all along, I wash my face, remove the remnants of the nights' smokey eye look and dig desperately in my purse for eye drops. I crawl back into bed and catch a few more ZZZ's hoping I'll look pristine and perfect later in the morning (and make my new husband think I always look this way in the mornings).

I knew you were hoping for a victory for the new bride. Nope. I spent the day in glasses, using the recommended amount of eye drops every four hours.

It's heart wrenching stuff people! Makeup removal is no joke! So remember no matter how late you're up knitting (or working on your needle point if that's your thing) remember to always remove that makeup or pay the consequences later.

Allow me to introduce us

Well hasn't this been a year of firsts? My first (& only) marriage, my first house, my first time living "away from home", first time living with someone other than family...and now my first blog. These are all firsts shared by my husband (still getting use to calling him that) too, minus the blog.

A little background on me, Nichole, and my significant other Nick. (And yes, I strategically planned that while I was dating. I would stop at nothing until I found a Nick that fit! And yes, we are naming every one of future children with the prefix "Nic"...kidding of course).

We grew up in the same town in Indiana. A little more suburban, a little less corn where we're from. We were in the same fifth grade class. It wasn't until junior year of high school that we really crossed paths again. With 3,000+ students in our high school that wasn't a difficult feat. We officially began dating May 8, 2004.

After graduation in 2005, we went on to college. Nick stayed local, majoring in business administration with minors in pre-law and communications (Note: has a job, searching for a jump start to his career in case you're hiring). I commuted to Columbia in Chicago where I majored in broadcast journalism with a concentration in television. I now work in communications, freelance and now blog.

I know, real exciting stuff here. High school sweethearts, yada yada yada...We persevered, went through our fair share of hiccups, but came out on top.

But the real deal, as previously noted, we share a lot of firsts. Being a newlywed is completely new territory for us. Living together - uncharted waters. I feel so sure when I'm with Nick, but this new adventure whoa! It's thrown me for a loop and we've been married 9 days (5 of which were spent on a honeymoon).

So here it goes. Our life, our trials and tribulations out for the world to see. Join us as we embark on our life together. This is Confessions of a Newlywed: Surviving Wedded Bliss.

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