The Baby Phenomena

I knew it was coming - read about it, talked about, dreamt about it...I guess I just didn't think it was going to happen so soon.

Take a deep breath, Nick and I are not expecting! No I'm not talking about the miracle of life, but another phenomena...something I'll call the baby phenomena.

It all started at the reception. My wedding band had been on for approximately four hours when my boss' wife informed me that rain on my wedding day not only meant good luck, but babies very, very soon.

My ovaries recoiled in fear. I envisioned a boycott between my fallopian tubes and uterus. Okay maybe that's a bit overboard, but I'm sure we set a record there. Four hours married and let the baby talk begin.

We got married in the very late summer, early fall thinking we'd beat the summer heat yet avoid the holiday season. Well the holiday season is upon us, which means lots of family get-togethers and plenty of opportunities to ask the newlyweds updates on their procreation status.

It usually starts because I'm the baby/kid hog in the family. Where there is a baby/kid you'll find me. I can't help it I absolutely adore kids! But because I love kids (and even though I know Nick will be a great daddy someday) I know we're not ready.

The mistake I made was trying to explain this to people. I try to answer the inquiries in the nicest ways possible. I see the look of doubt on people's faces saying, "Sure you say that now".

My favorite, Nick's uncle has a bet going! You wonder when you walk out of the room if they say, "I'll give them less than a year (to get pregnant that is)."

I know these are all wishful, kind thoughts being passed our way. I even find myself making the statement, "When we have kids" more than I ever recall when we were dating or just engaged. This baby phenomena between the family/friends is just humorous.

I guess that's why the little rhyme goes, "First comes love then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage". Some people are ready to see us move to the next step!

I look forward to the day when Nick and I can make the big announcement and make our younger sisters aunts and our parents grandparents and hopefully our grandparents great-grandparents. The love and joy a child brings to a family is unprecedented.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying keeping the family guessing and teasing relentlessly. As for those preparing for wedded bliss take a moment and prepare yourself for this question in advance because if you're anything like us you may need it a few hours after you say "I do".

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2011. All rights reserved

Arachnophobia

I always tell this story from when Nick and I first started dating. I'll be honest I can barely get through it without cracking up. I have to tell this story first in order for you to get a true depiction of how serious a topic this is...well serious for Nick that is.

My husband is not a small man. He's a hockey player who dwarfs my 5'1" mother. You would think with all that brawn nothing could stand in his way. Want to see him stop dead in his tracks? Find a spider.

So when we were 17, we were all cozied up on the couch watching a movie in his parents' basement. This was back when we enjoyed sitting right next to each other on a couch that could clearly seat four to five adults comfortably.

I was leaning on his shoulder engrossed in whatever it was we were watching (must have been great I remember it so well). All of sudden I'm airborne. I landed on the floor. Before I could realize what had happened I hear Nick yell, "SPIDER!" Sitting on the floor, dumbfounded I came to and said simply, "Where?"

Frantically pointing at the floor next to me (yes he catapulted me into the line of fire, my hero!) Nick said, "There, there!"

I look over and there is this measly, little house spider no bigger than a standard pencil eraser. I find something to squish it and the color returned to Nick's face. I knew from then on this could work to my advantage.

So flash forward six years later and I now have role of wife/spider killer. We were laying in bed the other night when Nick noticed a spider on the wall. He begged me to "get it." Of course I took advantage of torturing him and said, "No, that's okay. I've adopted it. It's going to live with us now. I can't kill it." The begging and pleading continued and continued and continued. Not wanting to torture my poor husband any longer, I caved and "got it."

Nick seemed so relieved. I had to get one last jab in. With the slimy, squished arachnid in a tissue, I lunged at him with it (as if I would throw the disgusting thing on our comforter). He screamed this high pitch shrill that sounded like an elementary school aged girl. I about fell on the floor I was laughing so hard as Nick sat cowered against our headboard.

I know it was terrible and mean. Sometimes you just have to take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself!

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2011. All rights reserved

You've heard of the "Freshmen Fifteen" what about post-wedding pounds?

I'll be honest I avoid scales and I'm the first to admit I work out, but I don't eat right. I skip lunch and I love chocolate. I've always been in decent shape. Here lately I wonder how long that will last.

There's this euphoric feeling post-wedding. You're not counting the number of push-ups, tricep dips, crunches and squats you did. The dress fit perfectly, the photos look beautiful and this feeling of utter calm washes over you.

But with that calm comes a catch. It's easy to be come lax about those extra trips to the pantry. I'll attest I've noticed I'm much more hungry married then I ever was before. (And no it's not because I'm working off extra calories in the bedroom!)

There's just these nights when we're all relaxed and I'll say, "Love, I could really go for some <fill in the blank with some calorie packed, unnecessary, but tastes so darn good item>." My adoring husband and enabler will say, "Me, too."

Just the other night I had one of these cravings. I discovered some chocolate chip cookie dough in the freezer just asking to be thawed and devoured.

Nick asked, "Can you defrost cookie dough?"

My response, "We'll find out!"

Now to get my chocolate fix, I could have made just a few chocolate chip cookies for each of us. But, they looked so small on the cookie sheets I decided to make 20. Ten for him and ten for me...seemed fair. I poured two glasses of milk and set all 20 out on a plate thinking we'd have some left over for when the cookie monster craving hit me again. About 15 minutes went by and I looked down at the plate. There was ONE cookie left amongst some crumbs. ONE!

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. What happened to the bride to be who went to the gym five days a week? Does my marital status suddenly give me carte blanche to eat like every day is Thanksgiving? I can barely finish a chicken breast and a side, but I can eat ten cookies and finish off a glass of milk?

Of course as a stereotypical woman I go into panic mode...is Nick going to have to start hearing me say, "Honey does this dress make my butt look big?" Knowing, no the dress didn't do it was the over consumption of chocolate chip cookies that were to blame.

Then I remember to breathe. Enjoy the time spent together. Overindulge once in a great while. Live a little! I can take the dog for an extra lap around the subdivision and stay at the gym a half hour longer...tomorrow.

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2011. All rights reserved