Five for fighting

I don't know how many times Nick and I have heard, "You know if you keep fighting like that you won't last more than six months..."

Well here we are nearly seven years later going strong. While I don't agree with the part of the statement that says we won't last I will openly admit that Nick and I do fight. No couple is as sweet as a Hallmark card no matter how they may appear.

Now let me clarify. When I say "fight" I mean it in the healthiest sense of the word - to argue or debate. This is not a screaming on the top of your lungs match, there is NO name calling (except maybe in our own heads, which we keep completely to ourselves and will most likely take to the grave) and of course not one iota of physical abuse.

To argue, debate or fight as I put it, is normal to me. It reminds me that although we are married, we are still individuals with our own opinions, thoughts and feelings. I'm proud to say that although Nick has influenced my life I'm still me. I have a sense of identity all my own regardless if I'm a wife.
I know I'm not the easiest person to live with or the easiest person to be married to. I'm opinionated and I love to get the last word in. The only problem is I don't have a quick wit and can't fire of comebacks left and right so sometimes after a fight is more than over I'll come back 20 minutes (sometimes even 40 minutes) later with something real clever and we're back to square one all over again.

My big claim to fame is when I know I'm right and I use Google to prove it. The computer is banned in our house during a fight. It's just because Nick knows I'll win! I love bringing evidence to the table!
I don't want to fight all the time of course. Never living together is making that feat a little challenging. I'm learning to really pick my battles though. For example, last night debating over whether or not I always make white gravy was incredibly important. It was!

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved 

Jumping the gun

I'm a worry wart with an active imagination. It's a dangerous combination that I'm sure will give me premature gray hairs before I hit 30.

So when Nick told me what time he was going to be home and then was running very, very late my mind started to race. I tried to keep myself busy...I watched tv, made dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, checked Facebook (two, maybe three times), sent out a few e-mails, even checked my work e-mail. I wanted to call him, but then in the back of my mind I told myself, "No. Don't be one of those naggy, whiny wives."

Ugh..."When are you coming home? Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with?..."

But then road conditions had been terrible so my mind went to work yet again.

Well Nick made it home just fine, late, but fine. My nerves were a little haywire and I was upset he hadn't called or used someone else's phone when his died.

And to top it all off I was late, too. Not late to get home, but ya know late. The time of the month came and nothing happened. (I do have to note that by medical standards I wasn't really, truly late just later than what I was use to. That's where my imagination starts giving me trouble.)

So needless to say Nick being late, in the actual sense of the word, sent me into overdrive.

I was huffing and puffing through the kitchen telling him how worried I was, how upset he would be if I did this...I went on and on and on and on. Then out of nowhere I blurt out, "And I haven't started my period" as I immediately burst into tears.

Nick was dumbfounded. Here he was getting a verbal lashing as he was apologizing profusely when the conversation takes a complete 180 and he finds out his wife may be pregnant.

I turned into a blubbering idiot as Nick gave me the biggest hug. All I could say was, "But I don't want to be pregnant".

Since before we were ever married we said we wanted to wait at least a few years before we even tried to start a family. We love spending time with our friends who have babies and kids, but we always have said we're not ready yet.

I didn't want parenthood thrust upon us when we weren't planning. I looked at Nick pitifully with mascara running down my cheeks and said randomly, "Can we take a baby to Europe?" As if for some reason our child would not be able to obtain his or her passport.

Within a five minute tear-filled moment my mind had flashed to how we would be able to travel like we wanted to where would we put a nursery to my growing belly and swollen ankles to labor and delivery to losing baby weight. I was a wreck.

Then Nick looked at me and laughed (nervously), "It would be pretty cool if you were. We've been married a while now." A shift in our relationship happened that night. I honestly knew right then and there that no matter what the outcome we COULD do this, not only because we would have no other choice but to become parents, but because we'd be in it together.

I know pretty cheesy, huh?

I hate to cut into the suspense, but we found out there will be no little Nichole or Nick brought into this world...a day later. All that emotion and chaos! Talk about jumping the gun.

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved 

Sleeping with my husband

Sleeping with my husband is an adventure every night. And by sleeping I mean really sleeping.

It started off with his incessant snoring. For weeks post-wedding I would be jolted awake by what sounded like an engine starting up in my ear.

Adapt and overcome...adapt and overcome. Eventually my light sleeper ways subsided.

While I'm not a snorer (although Nick may say otherwise) I'm a talker. And I've learned Nick has a lot to say too.

Just when I thought I could finally sleep soundly I was snapped out of a dead sleep when Nick jerked upright and yelled, "What the hell?". Just as quickly as he sat up he settled back down, not even opening his eyes. A few nights later he rolled over to my side of the bed to ask me to, "Please close the trophies."

The trophies? Really love...what did we win?

Now this bed time banter isn't all one-sided. I've woken Nick up a time or two when I've stolen all the blankets or decided to sleep diagonally across the bed.

Just one of married life's many blessings. Should have registered for the California king and some ear plugs maybe?

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved