In the June 2011 issue of Redbook Magazine I read a fun piece titled, "11 Things Never to Say to a Man You Love" and wondered how many of those I had accomplished over the course of 10 months of marriage.
1. I can't wait to see what you're doing for my birthday.
I plead pure excitement with this one. I can't help that Nick is great with surprises and I never know what he's going to get me! I deserve a free pass.
2. Are you...crying?
This one isn't fair. My feeling is real men cry just as real men wear pink. If you call them out on it they shouldn't feel any less masculine. Now I do the draw the line at some point. If he blubbered over every little thing I know that would grate on my nerves. But really sad movies (ask him how feels about Marley and Me), the passing of a relative, a baby being born and other life experiences more than acceptable.
I cry over EVERYTHING so really who am I to judge?
3. If we leave right now, we'll have time to stop by Bed Bath & Beyond.
Poor Nick. I do drag him everywhere on the weekends. I'll have our entire day scheduled and am sure I've made statements similar to this. I don't know how many times I've heard <sigh> "Do I really have to go?" Where my simple response has been, "It'll only take a few minutes. It's not going to kill you." An eye roll ensues with more sighing. Then I get, "Well will you buy me something?"
4. Do you need help lighting the grill?
I wouldn't be very helpful with this one. I'm petrified I'll somehow manage to blow up our patio with the propane tank.
5. I'm putting this whole conversation on my blog.
Look what you're reading. Enough said.
6. You had so much hair back then!
We haven't gotten quite to that point just yet, however I will openly admit I have checked his hairline from time to time looking for signs of rescinding.
7. I don't care how big and drunk he is, he shouldn't be talking through the movie. I'm going to say something.
Oh boy. I've gotten Nick into a couple hairy situations (no pun intended to #6). I take for granted that my husband can hold his own, however, I don't need to help him into it.
8. Actually; it doesn't happen to every guy.
Yikes. Low blow right there.
9. We're vegetarians now.
Yep tried this one too. I didn't go nearly that far. I mentioned an article I read about "going vegetarian" one night a week can add years to your life. When I mentioned my plan you would have thought I told him we were selling all of our worldly possessions and going to live off the land.
10. My dad can fix that; you should call him.
Eek. Is it bad I've almost accomplished all of these? Do I least get a bonus point because a called my grandpa instead? Or do I lose a point because I called someone even older than my dad?
11. You know why.
One of his biggest pet peeves I'm sure. Assuming he should know. In a year of marriage and a seven year relationship, I've discovered men are oblivious to many things that annoy the hell out of most women.
Well, Redbook Magazine you have me pretty well figured out. I wonder how I've managed to become such a typical woman. I blame men.
Compiled by Troy Pattee of Dadventurous.com, Shawn Burns of Backpackingdad.com and Aaron Traister of redbookmag.com.
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
7.19.2011
A Testament of True Love
I know my blog was intended to be a diary/journal of the adventures, misadventures and lessons Nick and I learn together as we navigate married life.
But sometimes others have a way of making an incredible impression on your life. I had to share.
Paralyzed bride to marry one year after accident
A year ago, I remember turning on my favorite news station and hearing the story of a young couple, preparing for their wedding day, surrounded by tragedy.
The bride-to-be was enjoying her bachelorette party, when one of her bridesmaids pushed her into the shallow end of a pool. She immediately knew something was wrong and desperately asked her friends to call 911.
She was paralyzed. It was one month before she was set to say I do.
But on air the couple seem relatively unscathed. You could see the hurt on their faces, but behind those looks was something more - true, unfaltering love.
They didn't blame the bridesmaid or even seem angry with her. In fact, she was still on the guest list. They recognized this event as a tragic accident, one that would reshape their entire life together.
The groom-to-be said he never once thought, "What am I going to do?" only, "What are we going to do?".
Naysayers may say "aww, how sweet" and go about their lives. This story, however, struck me to the core. It made me check myself. How many times since Nick and I exchanged our vows had I joked or threatened divorce knowing I never meant it? How many times had I criticized instead of discussed or supported? How many times had I nagged about something petty in the grand scheme of things?
I don't doubt this couple won't face their fair share of challenges. But regardless of the challenges they will face, it's easy to see the tremendous amount of support they have for one another.
It's been a year since this couples life together was shattered. They've picked up the pieces and never looked back. In good times and in bad...in sickness and in health. Those vows are more than just idle words. They are a testament and a promise to one another.
I don't know this couple and most likely will never meet them, but they have given me an invaluable gift. One that I can use over and over again. It's a reminder how fragile love and life can be. When you know you have met your soul mate, your true love to never, ever take that for granted.
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
But sometimes others have a way of making an incredible impression on your life. I had to share.
Paralyzed bride to marry one year after accident
A year ago, I remember turning on my favorite news station and hearing the story of a young couple, preparing for their wedding day, surrounded by tragedy.
The bride-to-be was enjoying her bachelorette party, when one of her bridesmaids pushed her into the shallow end of a pool. She immediately knew something was wrong and desperately asked her friends to call 911.
She was paralyzed. It was one month before she was set to say I do.
But on air the couple seem relatively unscathed. You could see the hurt on their faces, but behind those looks was something more - true, unfaltering love.
They didn't blame the bridesmaid or even seem angry with her. In fact, she was still on the guest list. They recognized this event as a tragic accident, one that would reshape their entire life together.
The groom-to-be said he never once thought, "What am I going to do?" only, "What are we going to do?".
Naysayers may say "aww, how sweet" and go about their lives. This story, however, struck me to the core. It made me check myself. How many times since Nick and I exchanged our vows had I joked or threatened divorce knowing I never meant it? How many times had I criticized instead of discussed or supported? How many times had I nagged about something petty in the grand scheme of things?
I don't doubt this couple won't face their fair share of challenges. But regardless of the challenges they will face, it's easy to see the tremendous amount of support they have for one another.
It's been a year since this couples life together was shattered. They've picked up the pieces and never looked back. In good times and in bad...in sickness and in health. Those vows are more than just idle words. They are a testament and a promise to one another.
I don't know this couple and most likely will never meet them, but they have given me an invaluable gift. One that I can use over and over again. It's a reminder how fragile love and life can be. When you know you have met your soul mate, your true love to never, ever take that for granted.
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
7.18.2011
Battle of the Ages
Everyone has their favorite go-to outfit. That outfit you know looks good. You wear it when you don't know what to wear, you haven't done laundry, you're running late, you don't want to iron and sometimes just because.
My husband has his, too and he wears it everywhere. This favorite outfit is, "comfortable" and has been worn to family gatherings, barbecues, graduation parties, get-togethers with friends, lounging around the house, on vacation...you name it.
And he doesn't mind if we spend time with the same people two weekends in a row either. That good ol' outfit has to come along.
Now let's get this straight. We have an enormous walk-in closet and he takes up half of it. We also share our dresser equally 50/50. So this outfit is not for lack of options.
I've come to despise those green plaid flannel shorts with accents of slate gray, purple and yellow coupled with his black and gray graphically enhanced Chicago Blackhawks shirt with red Blackhawks logo.
He swears to me, "It matches! See black and black." Or my personal favorite, "You can't tell me this doesn't look good together." Well honey actually I can.
I was hoping his colorblind grandfather passed this genetic trait down to him. No such luck. It's just his favorite two pieces of clothing he decided went well together.
A few weeks ago (before this outfit became a regular occurrence), Nick noticed a small hole in his shorts. He was devastated. Trying to squelch those crushed feelings, I offered to sew it back together.
What was I thinking?
He was elated! And the plaid shorts (and of course the Blackhawks shirt) began to surface more and more frequently.
I started to think if I snuck the shorts and shirt to the bottom of the laundry basket and said, "Oops. No honey they haven't been washed" that would solve my problem. But it never failed, the man who never plans what he's wearing to an event, would ask, "Have you seen my shorts and shirt (knowing I knew exactly the outfit he was looking for). I need to put it in the washer before we go to ___________."
Ugh!
I never wanted to be the wife who told her husband what he had to wear. I tried reverse psychology, saying certain outfits looked great on him, hoping they would become another favorite. I have begged and pleaded for him to pleeeeeaaaaassssse wear something else. I have even contemplated bribery. It was all in vain. He hasn't budged, not even an inch.
At the most recent family party, Nick realized there was a small hole along the seam again. As the night progressed the hole became gradually bigger and bigger and bigger until it ran the entire length of one side of his shorts.
Victory!
I'm left in a conundrum. Do I take out my sewing machine and be the hero? Or do I say they're beyond repair and save Nick from his novice fashion ways? Then all I'd have left to tackle was that infamous Blackhawks shirt. One down, one to go right?
The issues of married life...sheesh.
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
My husband has his, too and he wears it everywhere. This favorite outfit is, "comfortable" and has been worn to family gatherings, barbecues, graduation parties, get-togethers with friends, lounging around the house, on vacation...you name it.
And he doesn't mind if we spend time with the same people two weekends in a row either. That good ol' outfit has to come along.
Now let's get this straight. We have an enormous walk-in closet and he takes up half of it. We also share our dresser equally 50/50. So this outfit is not for lack of options.
I've come to despise those green plaid flannel shorts with accents of slate gray, purple and yellow coupled with his black and gray graphically enhanced Chicago Blackhawks shirt with red Blackhawks logo.
He swears to me, "It matches! See black and black." Or my personal favorite, "You can't tell me this doesn't look good together." Well honey actually I can.
I was hoping his colorblind grandfather passed this genetic trait down to him. No such luck. It's just his favorite two pieces of clothing he decided went well together.
A few weeks ago (before this outfit became a regular occurrence), Nick noticed a small hole in his shorts. He was devastated. Trying to squelch those crushed feelings, I offered to sew it back together.
What was I thinking?
He was elated! And the plaid shorts (and of course the Blackhawks shirt) began to surface more and more frequently.
I started to think if I snuck the shorts and shirt to the bottom of the laundry basket and said, "Oops. No honey they haven't been washed" that would solve my problem. But it never failed, the man who never plans what he's wearing to an event, would ask, "Have you seen my shorts and shirt (knowing I knew exactly the outfit he was looking for). I need to put it in the washer before we go to ___________."
Ugh!
I never wanted to be the wife who told her husband what he had to wear. I tried reverse psychology, saying certain outfits looked great on him, hoping they would become another favorite. I have begged and pleaded for him to pleeeeeaaaaassssse wear something else. I have even contemplated bribery. It was all in vain. He hasn't budged, not even an inch.
At the most recent family party, Nick realized there was a small hole along the seam again. As the night progressed the hole became gradually bigger and bigger and bigger until it ran the entire length of one side of his shorts.
Victory!
I'm left in a conundrum. Do I take out my sewing machine and be the hero? Or do I say they're beyond repair and save Nick from his novice fashion ways? Then all I'd have left to tackle was that infamous Blackhawks shirt. One down, one to go right?
The issues of married life...sheesh.
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
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