Just when you think you know someone

Nick and I have never lived together, but we spent so much time together I thought for sure I knew just about everything. Prior to moving into our first home together I knew things would be interesting and eye opening.

Now some things I could make easy assumptions about. For instance: I knew he would be a little messy considering I'd seen what his bedroom at his parents' house looked like. Considering Nick's affinity for all things junk food related, I knew he would throw a hissy fit about me refusing to buy a ton of junk. God forbid there's a few too many carrots and hummus in the house!

But one assumption I had no way of assuming ahead of time. (Note: one reason I fell in love with Nick is his sense of humor and cookiness, but this takes the cake.)

Although Nick has a great singing voice he goes around the house singing in the goofiest voices whether it's in the shower (where he also feels the need to do voices/quote movies to himself) or unloading the dishwasher he's always singing. When he doesn't think I'm listening he sings to our dog and inserts our dog's name into songs. Last night's vocal stylings included, "Zeusy Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

This isn't a gripe whatsoever! It's not even something that one has to deal with. It's just down right hilarious! Of all the things I prepped myself for I never thought it would be this. He never ceases to amaze me.

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved 

Trial and error

Nick's godson just turned two months old earlier this month. Me, the self-proclaimed "baby hog" in the family has been dying to babysit since the day we went to the hospital to meet him. How can you not adore all twelve roly poly pounds of him? He's a sweetheart with tons of teddy bear brown hair and big blue eyes. And at times I see the family resemblance to Nick.

His godson at times, makes me want to throw our plan out the window and have one of our own. To squelch those hormonal feelings I hover around the baby at family parties, hoping to hold him as much as possible. And when he gets fussy, I can pass him back to his mom, grateful for my temporary baby fix.

But when Nick's cousin text messaged to see if we wanted to babysit the baby overnight I jumped at the opportunity. I could see the terror in Nick's eyes.

While I was excited, Nick was nervous. We loaded a swing, bassinet, a diaper bag and an overnight bag into the car. We both couldn't believe we had a baby strapped in a car seat in our backseat.

Nick went 10 mph down the street and only picked up speed on the highway. We got home close to midnight and by midnight the baby was out cold. When Nick and I called it a night we had no idea what to expect. Although we were well informed with four, double-sided pages of instructions from the baby's mom I was a little uneasy.

Nick placed the bassinet as close to the edge of the bed as possible and turned on a nightlight. Just as I was about to fall asleep he rolled over to my side and said, "Are you sure you'll be able to hear him?" We got up the next morning relieved he only woke up once! We considered buying lottery tickets.

The rest of the day went scary smooth and I hoped this wasn't the universe's way giving us a sign.

Then later that day we received an early Christmas gift from his godson. A very dirty diaper. Nick has never had the pleasure of changing a diaper. When he realized the little present we were about to receive came in a very small, but powerful package he instantaneously backed against the wall, covered his face, gagging. Sometimes, I realize I have to take opportunities when they present themselves. I walked casually passed Nick, making him think he was out of the woods of doing diaper duty. Instead I did an about face and chased him with baby.

It could be considered torture, but it was absolutely priceless. Nick was begging me to stop. He promised to change every one of our children's diapers if I just spared him this one. I may have to hold him to that someday.

The things I do to get my kicks. My poor husband.

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved 

Let me let you in on a little secret...

Most people who know me understand I'm a feminist. I don't believe in gender roles. I feel men and women are equal and should be treated equally.

But something bizarre happened after our big day. I felt like my mind was transported to the 1950s. I suddenly wanted to make sure his work clothes were clean, folded and put away. I had the desire to make sandwiches with all the gourmet toppings. I pictured myself in a cutesy little apron (and not much else - hey we're newlyweds!) creating Food Network worthy dishes for dinner, waiting for him to come home from work.

And the first few days of us being home from our honeymoon played out very similar to that. And the best part of it, Nick played into the dutiful husband as well. Even when he worked in the afternoon, he would wake up in the morning to have coffee and/or breakfast with me before I left for work. It was picturesque to say the least.

Then a lightbulb went off. While in my marriage daydreams this sounded wonderful, but I wondered how long we could both keep this up in reality.

Don't get me wrong oftentimes it is about the little things and keeping things like this up that help build a relationship, but if there is one thing I know it's myself. I knew that if for years Nick woke up with me every morning I had to work and then suddenly didn't I would be heartbroken. It would lead to arguments and tears (from me of course) and a sense of resentment that I didn't want.

So the very week we came home from our honeymoon I told Nick, "Love, if you don't plan on doing this until the day we die please don't."

Now that wasn't his get out of jail free card or mine for that matter. It was the realization that I wanted to continue to both be self-sufficient and get little surprises from time to time instead of creating expectations.

The same holds true for other chores! I'm not a housekeeper, I'm a wife. He is fully capable of putting his laundry in the hamper, so if I have to suffer for a few days and step over his dirty socks so be it. I will not make that an expectation.

Now some may look at this and say, "Wow! What a..." well you know. But that's not it. It's not. We split chores and do our fair share around the house because we both work full time and this is our house. I'm not afraid to take out the garbage or cut the grass. Nick will do laundry and the dishes.

I hope this is our key to success. Hopefully I can let you know on our 50th wedding anniversary.

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved