11 Things Never to Say to a Man You Love

In the June 2011 issue of Redbook Magazine I read a fun piece titled, "11 Things Never to Say to a Man You Love" and wondered how many of those I had accomplished over the course of 10 months of marriage.

1. I can't wait to see what you're doing for my birthday.

I plead pure excitement with this one. I can't help that Nick is great with surprises and I never know what he's going to get me! I deserve a free pass.

2. Are you...crying?

This one isn't fair. My feeling is real men cry just as real men wear pink. If you call them out on it they shouldn't feel any less masculine. Now I do the draw the line at some point. If he blubbered over every little thing I know that would grate on my nerves. But really sad movies (ask him how feels about Marley and Me), the passing of a relative, a baby being born and other life experiences more than acceptable.

I cry over EVERYTHING so really who am I to judge?

3. If we leave right now, we'll have time to stop by Bed Bath & Beyond.

Poor Nick. I do drag him everywhere on the weekends. I'll have our entire day scheduled and am sure I've made statements similar to this. I don't know how many times I've heard <sigh> "Do I really have to go?" Where my simple response has been, "It'll only take a few minutes. It's not going to kill you." An eye roll ensues with more sighing. Then I get, "Well will you buy me something?"

4. Do you need help lighting the grill?

I wouldn't be very helpful with this one. I'm petrified I'll somehow manage to blow up our patio with the propane tank.

5. I'm putting this whole conversation on my blog.

Look what you're reading. Enough said.

6. You had so much hair back then!

We haven't gotten quite to that point just yet, however I will openly admit I have checked his hairline from time to time looking for signs of rescinding.

7. I don't care how big and drunk he is, he shouldn't be talking through the movie. I'm going to say something.

Oh boy. I've gotten Nick into a couple hairy situations (no pun intended to #6). I take for granted that my husband can hold his own, however, I don't need to help him into it.

8. Actually; it doesn't happen to every guy.

Yikes. Low blow right there.

9. We're vegetarians now.

Yep tried this one too. I didn't go nearly that far. I mentioned an article I read about "going vegetarian" one night a week can add years to your life. When I mentioned my plan you would have thought I told him we were selling all of our worldly possessions and going to live off the land.

10. My dad can fix that; you should call him.

Eek. Is it bad I've almost accomplished all of these? Do I least get a bonus point because a called my grandpa instead? Or do I lose a point because I called someone even older than my dad?

11. You know why.

One of his biggest pet peeves I'm sure. Assuming he should know. In a year of marriage and a seven year relationship, I've discovered men are oblivious to many things that annoy the hell out of most women.

Well, Redbook Magazine you have me pretty well figured out. I wonder how I've managed to become such a typical woman. I blame men.

Compiled by Troy Pattee of Dadventurous.com, Shawn Burns of Backpackingdad.com and Aaron Traister of redbookmag.com.

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved