[If you're not a hopeless romantic do not proceed to read this article]
Sometimes it's hard to wrap my mind around...Nick and I have been together for seven years.
When we started dating we had our driver's licenses for a year. We were trying to decide what colleges to go to. My biggest concern at the time was whether or not he'd make a fun prom date. I wasn't looking for a potential husband that's for sure.
And somehow seven years have flown by. People may think it's crazy to be with someone so long when you're only in your mid-twenties. My response is it's not for everyone. Not everyone can handle literally growing up then growing old with someone. I consider myself lucky.
We haven't missed out on life, but enhanced each others. We've experienced our fair share of challenges, heartaches and disappointments. But it's what you do in those moments and in those tests that make all the difference.
We're at a time technically we're suppose to be experiencing the "seven year itch"...I know it's a little difficult to have when you're a newlywed, but I have to say I've never felt closer to him.
We talk more. Laugh more. Cry more. (eh and other things more).
But the one thing I love the most is that we're still learning about each other. There's so much to discover. I know we have a lot more growing up to do.
My itch is to enjoy this adventure of life together even more than we already have. Challenge each other. Try new things. And most of all don't get comfortable in the norm. Have a routine, but mix it up from time to time. Dare to be a different type of couple.
With Nick, forever isn't long enough.
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
5.18.2011
4.14.2011
I may have made a fatal error.
I'm a practical woman, always trying to do the "right" thing, make the best choices...
That practicality translates to just about all aspects of my life.
This year for Nick's birthday I decided to throw that all out the window. Since we started dating I bought countless outfits, made cutesy little homemade gifts and even socks and boxers from time to time.
I wanted to shock him with something big! (Don't worry I wasn't dropping the "You're going to be a daddy" bomb on him, at least not this birthday). So I decided to buy him a PS3 because it was...well practical. Not only is it a gaming console, but a DVD player and Blu-ray player in one. I knew he'd been dying for one!
Fatal error.
I never once worried about another person or work coming between us. In fact, I never thought anything would. That was until the day I brought a PS3 into our house. Now the background noise to my life includes roaring crowds, gunshots, beeping, buzzing, etc.
The boy at heart has definitely surfaced. Nick hurries through dinner to get to his game. He plans his evenings around the game that's due back the next day. He calls his friends when he needs to gloat about beating a game. He stays up until all hours of the night and then stealthily climbs into bed, trying not to wake me up.
What's funny is when I was picking up his gift the guy working the counter was attempting to answer some questions for me. He asked, "So is he a big gamer?" I responded, "O no not at all."
Was I wrong with that assumption? Is he turning into a gulp...gamer!?!?! Eh, I'm being my good ol' dramatic self. Heck, I haven't come home to him looking sleep deprived with a headset on off in some virtual war zone...yet at least.
If this is the worst thing I have to deal with I think I can handle it. But I can't make any promises that one day Nick is going to be all geared up to play and he won't be able to find his controllers.
Oops...the dog ate them?
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
That practicality translates to just about all aspects of my life.
This year for Nick's birthday I decided to throw that all out the window. Since we started dating I bought countless outfits, made cutesy little homemade gifts and even socks and boxers from time to time.
I wanted to shock him with something big! (Don't worry I wasn't dropping the "You're going to be a daddy" bomb on him, at least not this birthday). So I decided to buy him a PS3 because it was...well practical. Not only is it a gaming console, but a DVD player and Blu-ray player in one. I knew he'd been dying for one!
Fatal error.
I never once worried about another person or work coming between us. In fact, I never thought anything would. That was until the day I brought a PS3 into our house. Now the background noise to my life includes roaring crowds, gunshots, beeping, buzzing, etc.
The boy at heart has definitely surfaced. Nick hurries through dinner to get to his game. He plans his evenings around the game that's due back the next day. He calls his friends when he needs to gloat about beating a game. He stays up until all hours of the night and then stealthily climbs into bed, trying not to wake me up.
What's funny is when I was picking up his gift the guy working the counter was attempting to answer some questions for me. He asked, "So is he a big gamer?" I responded, "O no not at all."
Was I wrong with that assumption? Is he turning into a gulp...gamer!?!?! Eh, I'm being my good ol' dramatic self. Heck, I haven't come home to him looking sleep deprived with a headset on off in some virtual war zone...yet at least.
If this is the worst thing I have to deal with I think I can handle it. But I can't make any promises that one day Nick is going to be all geared up to play and he won't be able to find his controllers.
Oops...the dog ate them?
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
3.25.2011
Did I marry a stranger?
Some days I wonder if the man I married is really the Nick I've known since the fifth grade and dated for nearly seven years. I wonder if when I wasn't looking the Nick I knew was exchanged for this man I now call my husband.
I've discovered the man I lovingly call my husband, the one I said forever to, the one I hope to start a family is not who I thought he was.
How did he hide this so well? It was masked between homemade cards, flowers, thoughtful gifts and all the romanticism in between. He's hilarious, fun loving, determined and outgoing. Sure, he put on a good front running track and playing hockey, but deep down a different side of him was trying to break the surface.
And as soon as I said those two fateful words, "I do" that other side won this impending battle.
For the past six months I've ignored little warning signs until I couldn't ignore it any longer.
The jig was up tonight.
Nick told me he wanted to purchase a gun. Coming from a family of water fowl hunters it didn't bother me. He has the proper licenses, training, etc. No worries on my part.
But then he turned the computer screen toward me and showed me not just any gun, but an assault rifle. The only response I could muster was, "WHOA! What would you need that for?"
For those that don't know this is a gun ready for battle. This is a serious weapon that means business.
This was a prime opportunity to say something to the affect, "To protect my family." Want to know what his response was?
"Well in the event we need to form an urban rebel force and had to fight off zombies, we'd be prepared!"
I was absolutely floored. With one response I discovered I married a closet nerd. An uber-imaginative, kooky, fantasy creating, zombie fearing, gunslinging nerd.
I say this all in good fun and humor. While I'm still learning a little about Nick and the couple we've become I still get a little surprised from time to time. Just when I think we have a routine and things are falling into a rhythm Nick brings me back to our reality.
He's a nerd, but he's my nerd.
I've discovered the man I lovingly call my husband, the one I said forever to, the one I hope to start a family is not who I thought he was.
How did he hide this so well? It was masked between homemade cards, flowers, thoughtful gifts and all the romanticism in between. He's hilarious, fun loving, determined and outgoing. Sure, he put on a good front running track and playing hockey, but deep down a different side of him was trying to break the surface.
And as soon as I said those two fateful words, "I do" that other side won this impending battle.
For the past six months I've ignored little warning signs until I couldn't ignore it any longer.
The jig was up tonight.
Nick told me he wanted to purchase a gun. Coming from a family of water fowl hunters it didn't bother me. He has the proper licenses, training, etc. No worries on my part.
But then he turned the computer screen toward me and showed me not just any gun, but an assault rifle. The only response I could muster was, "WHOA! What would you need that for?"
For those that don't know this is a gun ready for battle. This is a serious weapon that means business.
This was a prime opportunity to say something to the affect, "To protect my family." Want to know what his response was?
"Well in the event we need to form an urban rebel force and had to fight off zombies, we'd be prepared!"
I was absolutely floored. With one response I discovered I married a closet nerd. An uber-imaginative, kooky, fantasy creating, zombie fearing, gunslinging nerd.
I say this all in good fun and humor. While I'm still learning a little about Nick and the couple we've become I still get a little surprised from time to time. Just when I think we have a routine and things are falling into a rhythm Nick brings me back to our reality.
He's a nerd, but he's my nerd.
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
3.17.2011
Not at a loss for words.
A typical pre-wedding conversation with anyone and everyone that knew I was engaged went something like this, "How are you? How's wedding planning?". I'd respond with some combination of good, fine, great, okay...Although thoughtful it got old and served as a stressful reminder when planning wasn't going smooth.
There were days when I wanted to belt out, "Since you asked, we can't find a pastor who is right for us and our future, our photobooth company just bailed on us, the hairstylist has a graduation now, my jewelry store just fired their engraver and have I mentioned I absolutely hate making decisions."
When you do that you get labeled either 1. crazy 2. a bridezilla or 3. a crazy bridezilla.
Fast forward and now its "How are you? How's married life?". This time around I wanted to put a little more thought into my response. I know for a fact no one wants to hear me gush about how much I love married life, how much I adore my husband...blah blah blah. Now I'm sure some individuals are ecstatic to see us happy, but others I know are asking the question because it seems like the normal, nice thing to ask.
Just being realistic here! You can't fool me.
So I got to thinking. After the first few times of blushing and gushing and saying "Great." I decided to mix things up. When asked now I respond with a quick, "Well he's still alive." Since I'm not a funny person and I don't tell jokes this is all I got people and it works!
Everyone always laughs (except for one woman who I will keep anonymous who responded "Umm...okay" but that's all right because I never liked her anyway).
People know marriage is work. People know their husbands can be a pain in the...well you know the rest. I'm sure some individuals wonder how they ever survived that first year. Although my response wasn't that premeditated (I was really only attempting to be funny, which takes a lot of work on my part) I think it's relatable. Funny how I can read the look on married peoples' faces, "I hear ya!" and "I'm sure my wife says the same thing."
Please don't misinterpret this. I could sit and gloat for hours on end. When it comes to how much I love my husband I'm not at a loss for words. I like my light-hearted response and while it's getting people to laugh with me (and not at me lol) I'm going to run with it!
There were days when I wanted to belt out, "Since you asked, we can't find a pastor who is right for us and our future, our photobooth company just bailed on us, the hairstylist has a graduation now, my jewelry store just fired their engraver and have I mentioned I absolutely hate making decisions."
When you do that you get labeled either 1. crazy 2. a bridezilla or 3. a crazy bridezilla.
Fast forward and now its "How are you? How's married life?". This time around I wanted to put a little more thought into my response. I know for a fact no one wants to hear me gush about how much I love married life, how much I adore my husband...blah blah blah. Now I'm sure some individuals are ecstatic to see us happy, but others I know are asking the question because it seems like the normal, nice thing to ask.
Just being realistic here! You can't fool me.
So I got to thinking. After the first few times of blushing and gushing and saying "Great." I decided to mix things up. When asked now I respond with a quick, "Well he's still alive." Since I'm not a funny person and I don't tell jokes this is all I got people and it works!
Everyone always laughs (except for one woman who I will keep anonymous who responded "Umm...okay" but that's all right because I never liked her anyway).
People know marriage is work. People know their husbands can be a pain in the...well you know the rest. I'm sure some individuals wonder how they ever survived that first year. Although my response wasn't that premeditated (I was really only attempting to be funny, which takes a lot of work on my part) I think it's relatable. Funny how I can read the look on married peoples' faces, "I hear ya!" and "I'm sure my wife says the same thing."
Please don't misinterpret this. I could sit and gloat for hours on end. When it comes to how much I love my husband I'm not at a loss for words. I like my light-hearted response and while it's getting people to laugh with me (and not at me lol) I'm going to run with it!
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
2.24.2011
Five for fighting
I don't know how many times Nick and I have heard, "You know if you keep fighting like that you won't last more than six months..."
Well here we are nearly seven years later going strong. While I don't agree with the part of the statement that says we won't last I will openly admit that Nick and I do fight. No couple is as sweet as a Hallmark card no matter how they may appear.
Now let me clarify. When I say "fight" I mean it in the healthiest sense of the word - to argue or debate. This is not a screaming on the top of your lungs match, there is NO name calling (except maybe in our own heads, which we keep completely to ourselves and will most likely take to the grave) and of course not one iota of physical abuse.
To argue, debate or fight as I put it, is normal to me. It reminds me that although we are married, we are still individuals with our own opinions, thoughts and feelings. I'm proud to say that although Nick has influenced my life I'm still me. I have a sense of identity all my own regardless if I'm a wife.
I know I'm not the easiest person to live with or the easiest person to be married to. I'm opinionated and I love to get the last word in. The only problem is I don't have a quick wit and can't fire of comebacks left and right so sometimes after a fight is more than over I'll come back 20 minutes (sometimes even 40 minutes) later with something real clever and we're back to square one all over again.
My big claim to fame is when I know I'm right and I use Google to prove it. The computer is banned in our house during a fight. It's just because Nick knows I'll win! I love bringing evidence to the table!
I don't want to fight all the time of course. Never living together is making that feat a little challenging. I'm learning to really pick my battles though. For example, last night debating over whether or not I always make white gravy was incredibly important. It was!
Well here we are nearly seven years later going strong. While I don't agree with the part of the statement that says we won't last I will openly admit that Nick and I do fight. No couple is as sweet as a Hallmark card no matter how they may appear.
Now let me clarify. When I say "fight" I mean it in the healthiest sense of the word - to argue or debate. This is not a screaming on the top of your lungs match, there is NO name calling (except maybe in our own heads, which we keep completely to ourselves and will most likely take to the grave) and of course not one iota of physical abuse.
To argue, debate or fight as I put it, is normal to me. It reminds me that although we are married, we are still individuals with our own opinions, thoughts and feelings. I'm proud to say that although Nick has influenced my life I'm still me. I have a sense of identity all my own regardless if I'm a wife.
I know I'm not the easiest person to live with or the easiest person to be married to. I'm opinionated and I love to get the last word in. The only problem is I don't have a quick wit and can't fire of comebacks left and right so sometimes after a fight is more than over I'll come back 20 minutes (sometimes even 40 minutes) later with something real clever and we're back to square one all over again.
My big claim to fame is when I know I'm right and I use Google to prove it. The computer is banned in our house during a fight. It's just because Nick knows I'll win! I love bringing evidence to the table!
I don't want to fight all the time of course. Never living together is making that feat a little challenging. I'm learning to really pick my battles though. For example, last night debating over whether or not I always make white gravy was incredibly important. It was!
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
2.09.2011
Jumping the gun
I'm a worry wart with an active imagination. It's a dangerous combination that I'm sure will give me premature gray hairs before I hit 30.
So when Nick told me what time he was going to be home and then was running very, very late my mind started to race. I tried to keep myself busy...I watched tv, made dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, checked Facebook (two, maybe three times), sent out a few e-mails, even checked my work e-mail. I wanted to call him, but then in the back of my mind I told myself, "No. Don't be one of those naggy, whiny wives."
Ugh..."When are you coming home? Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with?..."
But then road conditions had been terrible so my mind went to work yet again.
Well Nick made it home just fine, late, but fine. My nerves were a little haywire and I was upset he hadn't called or used someone else's phone when his died.
And to top it all off I was late, too. Not late to get home, but ya know late. The time of the month came and nothing happened. (I do have to note that by medical standards I wasn't really, truly late just later than what I was use to. That's where my imagination starts giving me trouble.)
So needless to say Nick being late, in the actual sense of the word, sent me into overdrive.
I was huffing and puffing through the kitchen telling him how worried I was, how upset he would be if I did this...I went on and on and on and on. Then out of nowhere I blurt out, "And I haven't started my period" as I immediately burst into tears.
Nick was dumbfounded. Here he was getting a verbal lashing as he was apologizing profusely when the conversation takes a complete 180 and he finds out his wife may be pregnant.
I turned into a blubbering idiot as Nick gave me the biggest hug. All I could say was, "But I don't want to be pregnant".
Since before we were ever married we said we wanted to wait at least a few years before we even tried to start a family. We love spending time with our friends who have babies and kids, but we always have said we're not ready yet.
I didn't want parenthood thrust upon us when we weren't planning. I looked at Nick pitifully with mascara running down my cheeks and said randomly, "Can we take a baby to Europe?" As if for some reason our child would not be able to obtain his or her passport.
Within a five minute tear-filled moment my mind had flashed to how we would be able to travel like we wanted to where would we put a nursery to my growing belly and swollen ankles to labor and delivery to losing baby weight. I was a wreck.
Then Nick looked at me and laughed (nervously), "It would be pretty cool if you were. We've been married a while now." A shift in our relationship happened that night. I honestly knew right then and there that no matter what the outcome we COULD do this, not only because we would have no other choice but to become parents, but because we'd be in it together.
I know pretty cheesy, huh?
I hate to cut into the suspense, but we found out there will be no little Nichole or Nick brought into this world...a day later. All that emotion and chaos! Talk about jumping the gun.
So when Nick told me what time he was going to be home and then was running very, very late my mind started to race. I tried to keep myself busy...I watched tv, made dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, checked Facebook (two, maybe three times), sent out a few e-mails, even checked my work e-mail. I wanted to call him, but then in the back of my mind I told myself, "No. Don't be one of those naggy, whiny wives."
Ugh..."When are you coming home? Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with?..."
But then road conditions had been terrible so my mind went to work yet again.
Well Nick made it home just fine, late, but fine. My nerves were a little haywire and I was upset he hadn't called or used someone else's phone when his died.
And to top it all off I was late, too. Not late to get home, but ya know late. The time of the month came and nothing happened. (I do have to note that by medical standards I wasn't really, truly late just later than what I was use to. That's where my imagination starts giving me trouble.)
So needless to say Nick being late, in the actual sense of the word, sent me into overdrive.
I was huffing and puffing through the kitchen telling him how worried I was, how upset he would be if I did this...I went on and on and on and on. Then out of nowhere I blurt out, "And I haven't started my period" as I immediately burst into tears.
Nick was dumbfounded. Here he was getting a verbal lashing as he was apologizing profusely when the conversation takes a complete 180 and he finds out his wife may be pregnant.
I turned into a blubbering idiot as Nick gave me the biggest hug. All I could say was, "But I don't want to be pregnant".
Since before we were ever married we said we wanted to wait at least a few years before we even tried to start a family. We love spending time with our friends who have babies and kids, but we always have said we're not ready yet.
I didn't want parenthood thrust upon us when we weren't planning. I looked at Nick pitifully with mascara running down my cheeks and said randomly, "Can we take a baby to Europe?" As if for some reason our child would not be able to obtain his or her passport.
Within a five minute tear-filled moment my mind had flashed to how we would be able to travel like we wanted to where would we put a nursery to my growing belly and swollen ankles to labor and delivery to losing baby weight. I was a wreck.
Then Nick looked at me and laughed (nervously), "It would be pretty cool if you were. We've been married a while now." A shift in our relationship happened that night. I honestly knew right then and there that no matter what the outcome we COULD do this, not only because we would have no other choice but to become parents, but because we'd be in it together.
I know pretty cheesy, huh?
I hate to cut into the suspense, but we found out there will be no little Nichole or Nick brought into this world...a day later. All that emotion and chaos! Talk about jumping the gun.
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
2.08.2011
Sleeping with my husband
Sleeping with my husband is an adventure every night. And by sleeping I mean really sleeping.
It started off with his incessant snoring. For weeks post-wedding I would be jolted awake by what sounded like an engine starting up in my ear.
Adapt and overcome...adapt and overcome. Eventually my light sleeper ways subsided.
While I'm not a snorer (although Nick may say otherwise) I'm a talker. And I've learned Nick has a lot to say too.
Just when I thought I could finally sleep soundly I was snapped out of a dead sleep when Nick jerked upright and yelled, "What the hell?". Just as quickly as he sat up he settled back down, not even opening his eyes. A few nights later he rolled over to my side of the bed to ask me to, "Please close the trophies."
The trophies? Really love...what did we win?
Now this bed time banter isn't all one-sided. I've woken Nick up a time or two when I've stolen all the blankets or decided to sleep diagonally across the bed.
Just one of married life's many blessings. Should have registered for the California king and some ear plugs maybe?
It started off with his incessant snoring. For weeks post-wedding I would be jolted awake by what sounded like an engine starting up in my ear.
Adapt and overcome...adapt and overcome. Eventually my light sleeper ways subsided.
While I'm not a snorer (although Nick may say otherwise) I'm a talker. And I've learned Nick has a lot to say too.
Just when I thought I could finally sleep soundly I was snapped out of a dead sleep when Nick jerked upright and yelled, "What the hell?". Just as quickly as he sat up he settled back down, not even opening his eyes. A few nights later he rolled over to my side of the bed to ask me to, "Please close the trophies."
The trophies? Really love...what did we win?
Now this bed time banter isn't all one-sided. I've woken Nick up a time or two when I've stolen all the blankets or decided to sleep diagonally across the bed.
Just one of married life's many blessings. Should have registered for the California king and some ear plugs maybe?
© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2012. All rights reserved
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