Arachnophobia

I always tell this story from when Nick and I first started dating. I'll be honest I can barely get through it without cracking up. I have to tell this story first in order for you to get a true depiction of how serious a topic this is...well serious for Nick that is.

My husband is not a small man. He's a hockey player who dwarfs my 5'1" mother. You would think with all that brawn nothing could stand in his way. Want to see him stop dead in his tracks? Find a spider.

So when we were 17, we were all cozied up on the couch watching a movie in his parents' basement. This was back when we enjoyed sitting right next to each other on a couch that could clearly seat four to five adults comfortably.

I was leaning on his shoulder engrossed in whatever it was we were watching (must have been great I remember it so well). All of sudden I'm airborne. I landed on the floor. Before I could realize what had happened I hear Nick yell, "SPIDER!" Sitting on the floor, dumbfounded I came to and said simply, "Where?"

Frantically pointing at the floor next to me (yes he catapulted me into the line of fire, my hero!) Nick said, "There, there!"

I look over and there is this measly, little house spider no bigger than a standard pencil eraser. I find something to squish it and the color returned to Nick's face. I knew from then on this could work to my advantage.

So flash forward six years later and I now have role of wife/spider killer. We were laying in bed the other night when Nick noticed a spider on the wall. He begged me to "get it." Of course I took advantage of torturing him and said, "No, that's okay. I've adopted it. It's going to live with us now. I can't kill it." The begging and pleading continued and continued and continued. Not wanting to torture my poor husband any longer, I caved and "got it."

Nick seemed so relieved. I had to get one last jab in. With the slimy, squished arachnid in a tissue, I lunged at him with it (as if I would throw the disgusting thing on our comforter). He screamed this high pitch shrill that sounded like an elementary school aged girl. I about fell on the floor I was laughing so hard as Nick sat cowered against our headboard.

I know it was terrible and mean. Sometimes you just have to take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself!

© Nichole DeMario, 2010 – 2011. All rights reserved